What Is Love?

What is this thing called love? 

Because I'm not sure if I really understand.

Is it intentionally putting yourself through stress and turmoil for another human being?

Just to allow that person to "Love" you?

But if the purpose of the person is to bring you joy and happiness...

then why does the stress have to come with it?

Why do questions and doubts arise?

Why do I feel myself looking for an exit?

Why do I try to think about the positive, when the bad still creeps slowly from the back to the front of my mind?

Why does it do that in the first place? 

Why can't I just drown in love and happiness. 

Why does it hurt? 

Why do I care so much?

Why don't I let myself be LOVED?

Early Morning Thoughts

4AM...and my thoughts are of you.
All I want to do is conversate with you.

The exchange of words to get me through the night...or just the thought of knowing that you're still there on the other line.

Never thought I could feel this way again. But I shouldve never based my future off of where I have been.

Im still not sure..but thts totally fine. Bcuz living these moments with you is how I want to spend my time.

You speak words of love and a future...and most of the time I would say something back....the truth is I want it to...and thats a fact.

I will try to learn patience to make this work, but you gotta believe when I say ..its just cuz I dont wanna be hurt.

Your place im my heart is becoming a town...I got you on my chocolate high...and you dont wanna come down.

But see what I never told you is that im addicted too. Your passion, your charm, and not to mention your cool. ♥♡

Apr.21.13. 4:16am

Do I Want?

What do you do when you don't want...what you want? If that even makes sense. 
Its like your heart tells you yes, but your mind is saying no, this is not how its supposed to go. Is that then when I let my heart speak for itself...? is it then when I let my mind let go...release..relax and just let my heart feel what it wants. without any judgments? 

I don't wanna hear any more "you know betters" or "what if's" or "should haves" mixed with "could haves" ..I just want my mind to be free, to let my heart feel freely. But its too smart for that. its like a shield made of diamond, letting nothing scratch against it anymore. 

But i need to fall, i need to know that fear of hitting the ground and never returning. I need to feel that wind that will carry me through the sky...floating carefree. I need to know the feeling of everlasting. I need to feel "the feel". That my heart longs for....right?

Is that what everyone needs ?...or Am i just wired different?...Again i'm wanting what i think i don't want. So in reality. I want it. I crave it. I need it.

LOVE.

18.APR.13  2152